June 1, 2005 journal, the heart of a Christian mother bleeds in losing her life companion.

It was a Saturday morning when all through the house there was peace and harmony as the mother arose to prepare an abundant breakfast as usual for her beloved husband and three children after a busy week. Saturday mornings are relaxing and enjoyable when this lady like thousands ador the fellowship of their companion in a relaxed environment absent of the pressures of getting the kids off to school and the husband off to work. However, on this particular Saturday morning the lives of this family were changed forever when the husband announced to his dear loyal and faithful wife and mother of his children that he would be leaving. It was like when my father told my mother that her brother had been run over by the train during the night and it was still dark outside. I wanted to know if he was killed. Of course he was killed and my mother knew that very well for her 2nd brother to lose. Here is this wifes answer found in her journal and maybe never read by the husband. My dear Francisco, I love you very much and understand that you feel you must leave us. I wish you complete happiness in your life and continued success in your career always. Remember us when you pass again this way and remember us if you ever need a place to stay. I will be here for you as I have promised always to be working for you and our children who love you as well as me. As handsome as you are I should of known that I could not always have you alone. Thank you for the years you have shared and for the shame you have spared. I will see you in my dreams as our children grow up without the beam of light in their eyes and confidence we share as I do for your presence which is rare. So go your way and come again some other day when you have a need we can supply. Go quickly my dear I will pack your bags so as not to awaken the children as you leave. Let them remember you as a good loving father with the answer to every question and a solution for every problem. Let them remember you in the games you played to teach them how to cope with life and overcome the sad things that happen along the way. No one else can take your place in this house so remember us as we make out for the best. I will get a job somewhere to buy bread and if we lose the house we will be down the street. When you return your children will not know you as well because they will make friends. At least you are living and not dead and my hope for you continues in place. Have a happy life and remember the sacrifice of those who know you and love you the best and we will always welcome you because you are their father and because you are my dear husband. Remember big Jimmy our firstborn and little Eddy our last born and Gennie in the middle. Remember me and all the good times we shared from our high school days until this day. Please give me no explanations as to why you are leaving because I do not need to know. Go in peace and may God be with you. No longer will I feel you by my side and know you are resting with your heart beat in rhythm with mine. I can never love you less and I have given you my best of the sweetest years of my life. Memories will now no longer suffice. It takes a family to be happy and it takes God to make one free. No matter what you do or where you go, I will always be a part of you as our children are and you a part of us. You cannot erace a family or time for the decisions we make in life both good and bad. The heart rhythm will never cease or be separated from that ever have loved in our lives. I will be calling your name because I know no other and I will be waiting and watching for you to turn the corner to our house as to be enlighten by your wonderful special presence. Come back soon my darling and share our lives and see the fruit of your loins growing up. Be brave and be who you are because there is only one of you in all the world to know.